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Happily Ever Affter


“The Two Shall Become One.” That’s the phrase that says it all. Every couple goes through this adjustment period. You were two…Now you’re one. And…and you’re newly married. Holy Cow!!! You have to make it work. And, boy, that’s not always easy…He leaves the toilet seat up…She uses his razor. She likes country. He likes Rap. After you say “I Do,” there’s so many things you don’t.
Every newlywed seeks advice. How do you live happily ever after? I thought I’d put together some tidbits of advice for all of our newly married and soon to be married couples. Here’s to your life-long journey as one. (As a side note, this list is mostly for husbands. You’ve heard the phrase “happy wife, happy life”? Well, it’s true.

1. The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re standing on.
2. The best way to remember when your wife’s birthday is to forget it just once.
3. A wife’s two biggest clothing complaints are “Nothing to Wear” and “Not Enough Closet Space.”
4. Never argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
5. A perfect wife is one who helps her husband with the dishes.
6. Early to bed and early to rise…makes a man very adept at making breakfast.
7. Before marriage a man yearns for the one he loves. After the wedding vows, the “y” is silent.
8. If you want your spouse to listen to what you say and pay attention, start talking in your sleep.
9. The thought doesn’t count. Don’t tell your wife about the gift you almost bought her. She’d rather have you think about her AND buy the gift.
10. Marriage is grand…divorce is about ten grand.

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